Tech Support

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend to Husband and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in
the Flower and Jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend.

In addition, Husband uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance and Personal Attention, and then installed
undesirable programs such as Rugby, Football, Pub, and Continuous TV. Conversation no longer runs, and Housecleaning simply
crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend is an Entertainment Package, while Husband is an Operating System. Please enter the command:
‘http: I Thought You Loved Me.html’ and try to download Tears. Don’t forget to install the Guilt update. If that application works as
designed, Husband should then automatically run the applications Jewelry and Flowers, but remember — overuse of the above
application can cause Husband to default to Grumpy Silence, Garden Shed, or Beer. Beer is a very bad program that will download
the Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-In-Law (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your
system resources). Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband.

In summary, Husband is a great system, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. It also tends to
work better running one task at a time. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend Food and Hot Lingerie.

Good Luck,
Tech Support