Knee replacement, a useless husband, and a bad trip with THC...a saga

Nuthin is tuffer than outliving most of your friends, having no kids, being laid up, and having a useless husband. I was supposed to have a knee replacement in Dec, but Covid cancelled it. I finally had it done on 2/21. I stayed only one night in the hospital before I was released. Before the surgery my hubby and I had "the talk". You know the one that starts out with "Honey, This is the first time that I'm going to have to have help for a while when I get home" and ends with "It'll be fine. I'm here and we'll get through it." I should have known right then things would be tough because this is a man who I've waited on hand and foot for 49 years.

The first day he hovered, helping me back and forth to the bathroom, fetching stuff I didn't even want and wiping my face with a cold cloth as I sweated out the narcotics and anesthesia. The first sign things weren't going to go well was the next morning when he didn't know how to make coffee and it ended up all over the floor and cabinet. His solution...a wipe, swipe with a towel, but forgetting the puddle in the floor. I was in so much pain I never said a word. After a step by step lesson in making coffee, I got a really good breakfast. He's pretty good cooking scrambled eggs. I guess he never learned that there are 3 meals in a day because by evening I was starved to death and he had made no offer of anything else."Honey, I'm really hungry." "Do you want some more eggs?" he says. "Uhh, yeah I guess" so I got more eggs.

Second day-the pain really set in and since my doctor is one who doesn't want his patients to rely on heavy narcotics, I was in hell. Very light doses of oxycodone and extra strength Tylenol can only do so much. By then I had mastered the walker and managed to get to the bathroom on my own which in my little husband's eyes meant I was on the mend, but he did finally bring me a plate around 12:00 ...yep, more eggs but at least they were fried this time. Then he decides to spend the day with his friends at the shooting range, leaving me to fend for myself and manage 2 dogs who constantly want in and out. Needless to say, by the time he returned I was livid. I'll never forget that innocent look I wanted to slap off his face when he said "You're getting around pretty good. I thought you were better."
"It's not a stubbed toe, you idiot." I said as I pushed him aside and fumbled around trying to heat up a can of soup one handed. Wrong move as he took it as a sign I could do everything for myself so from then on, no more eggs...or anything else unless I got it myself.

Third day - after the pain and a round of therapy, I was weak as water. I'm telling you, folks, I never imagined pain could be like that, the kind that takes your breath away. A friend from Oklahoma brought me some soup and chocolate cake which I devoured. I was all warm and fuzzy inside as I managed to get comfortable enough to sleep. Things were looking up...right? Wrong. A couple of hours later I took my nighttime meds and all hell broke loose. The room began spinning if I opened my eyes and I had to hug a trash can. I couldn't get to the bathroom so you can imagine what happened there. It lasted for 12 solid hours. Did the hubby know it was happening? Nope. He was asleep and since he's partially deaf he couldn't hear me yelling. Come to find out, my friend cooks with THC, never thought to tell me, and there was an adverse reaction with my meds. Result-a really bad trip for a gal who managed to live through the seventies and NEVER indulged in pot.

Fourth day until now - I figured out how to shower on my own, do laundry on one leg, and scrounge for something to eat that is NOT eggs. The pain is still pretty intense.

Ask me if I would do it again. Hell no. The left knee better hold up because I'll never go through this again. They can bypass the hospital and drop me off at the nearest nursing home.

@Ghot I'm shouting now. I figure I may be twisting come next Christmas.

glasskuter said:

@Ghot I'm shouting now. I figure I may be twisting come next Christmas.

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People on both sides of me have had knee replacements. I'm sure, at the moment it seems like it will last forever.
But they both had both knees done, one at a time. Each knee seemed to take about 2.5-3 weeks.
One was 75, the other was 80.

glasskuter said:

@Ghot I'm shouting now. I figure I may be twisting come next Christmas.

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Hey sweetheart, I had my knee replaced last year and you think it is going to hurt forever and you will never walk but after two weeks, things really improve.

The main thing is to do all the exercises and get out and walk. That was a bit tough for me as Scotland"s weather was cold and windy at that time of year.

I had a great friend come and help me for the first week, but she was no nonsense - she helped with shopping, and cooking etc. but expected me to move around and do as much as I could myself.

Why was she no nonsense ? Well, she has had the T-shirt twice. She was not sympathetic to my whinging about the pain.

Actually on pain killers, in UK we were given dihydrocodeine for first two weeks, but the do have the unfortunate side of effect of "bunging you up". So sooner you can rely on codeine free tablets the better (I do not know what US doctors prescribe)

I think you are going to need more surgical work though - a husbandectomy LOL.

As an aside, I know I will need to get my other knee done eventually but it depends how old I am by then but I am already showing signs of needing a replacement.

The thing is I am much better than before, no pain - more important perhaps knee does not give way randomly causing me to stunble or fall. So never say never.

I managed to get an x ray of the new knee. I asked the doctor if I could have a picture and she said she was not allowed, but picture was on pc screen, and she winked and said she had to leave the room for a couple of minutes, knowing full well I would photo it with my phone (deniable plausability LOL).

Any way, by this time next week, you will be getting better.

cereberus said:

by this time next week, you will be getting better.

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Do you promise????:)

cereberus said:

a husbandectomy LOL.

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yep!!!

glasskuter said:

Do you promise????:)

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Yep - it is the first week but once you walk 50 metres or so (build up slowly e.g. 10m 1st day, 20 m second etc), then you get confidence and away you go.

Show this to you husband, and he might realise how brutal the operation is - it is basically carpentry with your leg - hammer, saw, drill etc. Every muscle/tendon etc is savagely cut!

@glasskuter - how is the knee now?

@cereberus Thank you for asking. Last couple of days were pretty bad. Therapist is happy with my range of motion but very unhappy with my extension. He says it's because I am not sleeping with it straight out which is not my natural sleep position. I'm a side fetal sleeper so during the night I end up in that position because it's most comfortable. I'm trying to walk without walker as much as I can. I think I'm seeing a sliver of light at the end of the tunnel, but it's only a flicker.. I never really thought about getting old til this ordeal.

glasskuter said:

@cereberus Thank you for asking. Last couple of days were pretty bad. Therapist is happy with my range of motion but very unhappy with my extension. He says it's because I am not sleeping with it straight out which is not my natural sleep position. I'm a side fetal sleeper so during the night I end up in that position because it's most comfortable. I'm trying to walk without walker as much as I can. I think I'm seeing a sliver of light at the end of the tunnel, but it's only a flicker.. I never really thought about getting old til this ordeal.

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Old is when you umm, what was I saying?

How is the knee now?

@cereberus The saga continues.
I ditched the walker completely and bypassed a cane as home therapy guy said I did better without it. I never could walk and chew gum at the same time, but I was walking fairly well on my own. However, I kept telling my in home therapist something was wrong with the muscle or tendon because that's where still significant pain was coming from, not the knee itself. My biggest problem was and still is not sleeping for days at a time unless I dope myself up with everything I can find to knock myself out.

An extra trip to dr. proved worthless as he said some people have setbacks. He said not to do any more home therapy or anything else for 10 days and then go into outpatient therapy. I did that and most of the pain subsided. Then came my first outpatient therapy session which I was able to do without a lot of problems....until the next day when that same pain was back with a vengeance.

Second therapy session, I flat out told them they could stick their sessions where the sun don't shine if every time was going to set me back so they cut back the severity of what they put me through. Since, the workout has been tolerable, but they still haven't gotten any of my extension back and that muscle/tendon is still giving me fits. I get around OK, except I walk like Chester from Gunsmoke. IMO, I should be doing better at 8 weeks in. Sleep is still a big problem as you can tell by the time I troll this forum every night. I go back to dr. today.

.....My husband hasn't offered any more eggs.

Sorry to hear you're still having problems, someone I know was having problems after a knee replacement but I don't know how he's getting on, he wasn't someone I was in regular touch with.

I hope you soon start to feel better, sending you lots of love.

Wife had her knee done, 4 days in hospital. Scar tissue limits her very small ROM. After seeing what she went thru, I went to different doctor/hospital, was out the next day. They "overloaded" me with OXY... for pain, fell on the floor, had to call my son to get me vertical again. Standing up using the bathroom and fell into the tub. (That was all the first day home :O) Pain or no pain, stopped the OXY... and had no further problems. YMMV.

IM lucky to still have both my knees that I was born with im 44.

Atomic77 said:

44

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Ahh, to be 44 again. You could almost be my grandson. Take care of those knees.

I am disabled, with bad knees, thanks to the training in the British Army. X Country in boots has left me a nasty, painful legacy. A while back 'new' knees was discussed betwen the doc and me and the general consensus was leave it be. New knees can make things worse, not better. It has reached such a stage over the past 2 years or so, that the Vets Agency gave me a letter for the driving licensing authority granting me zero car tax as my own car is now classed as a 'mobility' car. I could have got a new car but I wont fix what is not broke. MY ford has been very reliable. As I age, things are deteriorating as is my memory too (thanks to a brain virus in N. Ireland) - where was I? .

As for your other half, I am as guilty. I keep saying to the wife, tell me if you want anything done, but she just goes ahead and does it. I wont touch her gardening though, the last time I did that I weeded her flowers!!! Ladies are guilty of their own ego trips - I can multi task they keep boasting, so men let you get on with it. I am a lazy git

I did taekwondo for many years and when you stop the joints especially the knees from all the kicking really play up

The-Hive said:

I did taekwondo for many years and when you stop the joints especially the knees from all the kicking really play up

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I think I feel like your victims - its not a nice feeling.